My two-year-old son stood in the middle of the living room. His head twisted quickly from side to side, looking for me.
I was in the room. But I was tucked into a corner chair feeding my infant daughter. He didn’t see me.
I was at my neighbor’s house. The moms and children on the block would get together occasionally after nap time.
While the toddlers tore up the first floor, the mom’s would sit in little clusters. Raising little ones is a joy, but it’s hard work too. It was so good to share those things.
Because it was deep into autumn, the social was well attended. I settled into a wing chair to feed my daughter, while my son ran over to play Lego’s. The living room was crowded with moms and children. I started chatting with three of my neighbors.
That’s when I saw my son run into the room. I noticed that because of the crowd, he couldn’t find me. Before I could wave my hand to alert him to my corner, he became visibly deflated. Then he burst into tears.
This happened about twenty-eight years ago, but the image is still fresh in my mind. He felt abandoned because he thought I’d disappeared. I felt terrible because he couldn’t see me. Hmm. Doesn’t that sound familiar.
“Where can I go from your Spirit?…If I go up to the heavens, you are there.” (Ps 139)
Even though I know that the Lord dwells in me, I can still be blinded to that fact. Busyness, distractions and broken relationships block my line of vision. In those times, I am like my son. I know that the Lord is in me, but I can’t see him. So I start to search for my Father.
But he seems far off…so far that I begin to lose confidence. How can he be with me if I don’t see him? I start feeling deflated and defeated. And I might start crying too.
I know that God’s heart breaks for his daughter who believes that he’s gone. Standing right in front of him, I grieve because I think he has left me. How pitiful I must look. I’m so thankful that he is a caring parent.
He’ll start waving his arm, and come running to me. “Here I am!” he calls.
That’s what I did too. What any good parent would do. I got up quickly, striding with purpose to rescue my child who thinks he’s alone.
Basking in the loving presence of my Father, I’ll grow in confidence.
Basking in the loving presence of his mother, my son will be reassured.
As much as I pretend to be a spiritual adult, I know I’ll always be a child. His child. I’ll always need a reminder that my Father is always with me. How blessed am I that he never tires of proving that he’s right by my side.
I’m ready to get back to serving my neighbors again. And I know God is with me.
I can see him now.
Oh….AMEN!!! Yes, I really relate to this. As you know, I just came out of a spiritual desert not too long ago. My head knew God was there, but my heart had trouble *feeling* Him. Grateful God is so faithful in making His presence known to us when we ask. Sometimes after the busyness of a day with the kiddos, the thing that feels best is to go on a run and spend time with God. Sometimes, I’m just frazzled and He’s waving his arm to me so I know He is there. It’s always such a welcome relief!
Hi Anne! That’s a good way to put it too. Getting ‘frazzled’. That does make me feel so out of touch with my spiritual self.
You have been on such a journey yourself, and you have experienced all of this, isn’t that amazing? I can’t wait to hear how your first visit to the new church went. I really pray it will be a wonderful new home for you.
Blessings,
Ceil
I love the example of your son searching for you when you were right there–he just didn’t see you. In my need to “see” Jesus, I can so relate. Excellent post, Ceil!
Hi Pam! Thank you for your kind comment, I really appreciate it. I think that when I feel far away from God, I should always remember the look on my son’s face before he started crying. I was right there, he wasn’t alone. And so is The Lord.
Thank you for your visit today
Ceil
I feel just like this sometimes too. I know that I am the one who left…God hasn’t gone anywhere. I’m so glad when I see him sitting in that corner. A beautiful post, my friend
Hi Debby! I know he’s always with me too, but sometimes I can forget. So silly.
I don’t want to be in despair, but instead to always remember that the Lords presence will never be far from me. I want to get better and better at remembering that!
Thank you for your kind words too, I really appreciate them
Have a restful night,
Ceil
What a wonderful word picture you’ve painted. I remember seeing my kids do the same thing. I’ve also been in the other position, looking for God, and looking back I can see He was right there. Thanks for sharing this.
Hi Mari! What a great comment! You saw both sides of this story, that is wonderful. I think I can learn a lot about my relationship with God through my children. It’s a natural example of my faith life with the Lord.
Hope you are having a good Monday
Ceil
Good evening Ceil,
I sure enjoyed this, and so true.
I especially liked ” as much as I pretend to be a spiritual adult, I know I’ll always be a child” boy that is true!
Praise the Lord for His love toward us!
Bless you!
Hi Debbie! I’m so glad you liked the post today. In life, we all want to be adults, but in the Spirit, we always children. That’s a fun image! And it helps me to understand why I am full of so many faults and silly behavior. And why my children are such a great example of the Father/child relationship.
Nice to see you today!
Ceil
This is a really great analogy of our relationship with Christ.
Hi Elizabeth! Thank you for your encouraging comment, I’m so glad you liked the analogy
Hope you are having a blessed day,
Ceil
I’m so thankful that He will never leave me nor forsake me. Praise be to God!
Hi Lauren! I join you in your praise Lauren. How blessed are we that he will never leave us?
Hope you’re having a wonderful Monday
Ceil
Jesus certainly knew what He was saying when He taught us to call God “Father”.
Certainly He is our Father, and it is we who at times fail to see Him. He is always there. Just a prayer away.
Great article Ceil. Excellent as ever.
God bless.
Hi Victor! I know I have to keep reminding me that good Father’s don’t abandon their children. Even when I think I’m all alone, I just never am. That is an empowering thought. As you said, ‘just a prayer away.’
Blessings to you!
Ceil
We had a very similar message preached yesterday in church by our pastor! He was teaching on the last three verses of Isaiah 40…a passage of comfort…of God always being there, whether we “sense” His presence or not. Thank you for being the instrument of reinforcement, Ceil! ( I left a note for you over at the blog).
Hi Diana! I love that when that happens! I think we all need each other to support us in the message. It’s not easy being human and dealing with the doubts at times.
I’ll be right over to check out the note! Thank you
Ceil
Thank You Ceil.I sure needed to see this -this morning. I am afraid I lost my temper this morning (and still mad) with my son..there are just days when I think I am all alone with raising a teenager. Blessings
Hi Linda! I’m so sorry about your disagreement with your son. I know it’s not easy. I hope you have been able to make peace with your son and your emotions too.
God is always with us, even when we can’t ‘feel’ him. I pray that he sent you a clear sign of his love for you today!
You are in my prayers as always Linda,
Ceil
Dear Ceil,
This is what I always feel. Sometimes I can feel His heart beating but sometimes I cannot sense He close to me thoug I know He is always here with me. ( All things that I shared in my blog is refelction of this feeling)
Thanks for reminding me again. You are such a glorious mother
Blessing,
delvalina
Hi Delvalina! I think it’s hard to remember that God never leaves us because we figure that times are bad, so he must be absent. But he never leaves, does he? You know that too, as you have written about on your blog.
Not sure I was a glorious mother Delvalina. But I did try to be a good one
Blessings,
Ceil
Oh Ceil.
You always feed me deep here.
I’m so thankful you’re in my life. You draw me closer to Jesus …
Hi Linda! Thank you so much for your encouragement my friend. I’m really happy that you like what you read here.
I am so glad that we know each other too. Aren’t we so blessed to be connected? God is so good to us
Have a peaceful night my friend,
Ceil
Ceil this was truely awesome. There are so many times I find myself feeling/acting as your son did. Sometimes panic sets in before I hit my knees! Thanks for sharing! Hope you have a beautiful day and thanks for your kind words at my place!
Hi Monica! I’m so glad you liked the post today. You’re so right, I can wait for ‘panic mode’ to set in too. Not fun! If I remember that God is there in every step, panic just shouldn’t be an option.
Something to work on for sure
Thank you for your kind words here, I really appreciate it.
Ceil
This reminded me of a similar incident when my daughter was small. What a terrible feeling to feel lost or abandoned from a parent. I’m so grateful God is an ever present help in trouble. He’s always a prayer away.
Hi Dayle! It is a terrible feeling isn’t it? To feel abandoned is such a harsh place to be. I think that’s why the Father is so sad when I feel that way in regard to him. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Nice to see you today
Ceil
These are the lessons He is teaching me too, and I’m so thankful because as I learn about His Presence, I can share with others. One of the greatest lessons learned is to literally ask the Lord to open my eyes that I might see Him in my midst. It amazes me that such a simple prayer spoken in faith becomes a reality.
Hi Nan! I think that God must be so happy with you! He shows you how much he loves and is with you, and you in turn tell others. You are his modern day disciple, which is what he asks of all of us. Beautiful!
I love how you are witnessing to answered prayer too. It truly shows how faithful God is to our prayers. Thank you
Ceil
Ceil: I like your thought that you will always be a child-His child. It gives me pause.
Hi Cecelia! Thank you for your kind comment. It’s so nice that you could relate.
Have a restful night,
Ceil
There are so many times we feel abandoned by God. But we are never alone…
Hi Joni! You are so right. He is always with us, whether I can ‘see him’ or not. That’s the reality I need to hold on to in my life. Especially when things get hard.
So nice to meet you today, thank you for coming over
Ceil
Beautiful! And as His mother, our Lady, is such a good and holy mother to want to help lead us to her son.
Hi Patty! Oh yes, Mary just loves bringing her children to him. How blessed we are to have her intercession and love.
Thank you for your comment! I hope you have a peaceful night.
Ceil
Really enjoyed this post.
Hi Denise! I’m so glad you did. And thank you coming over to visit today
Blessings,
Ceil
As soon as I read this, I related!
“He felt abandoned because he thought I’d disappeared.”
Too often I let my sight determine my confidence, but I have to remember that God is ALWAYS with us, whether or not I “see” Him. Thanks for this reminder, Ceil.
Hi Lisa! I’m so glad you recognized the theme and could relate so easily. I like the way you said that your ‘sight determines confidence’…that is true for me too. God is always with us! Sight or not.
Have a peaceful night! And thank you for your comment
Ceil
Your post made me feel a deep sense of peace.
God is always there even at times when I cannot see him.
Thanks Ceil
Hi Margie! I am so glad my friend. I think knowing that God is always there is such a comfort. Just like a two year old who knows his Mommy is near.
Hope you are having a great Tuesday
Ceil
Ceil,
how I can relate to your son and to you…so grateful God never left me…and He never leaves you…praying for your husband’s job search as you mentioned it a few weeks ago on my blog…blessings to you
Hi Dolly! Thank you for your continued prayers for my husband. How kind of you to remember!
I’m so glad that you can relate to the post today. I think we’ve all seen or experienced a situation like this one. It really underlined for me how blind I can be when I think God is far from me.
Blessings!
Ceil
That is why He wakes me up in the deep dark middle of the night–to remind me-
He IS Here!
Hi Lulu! What a beautiful way for God to communicate with you! No matter the time or circumstance, he wants you to know that he is there. What a comforting thing…
Blessings
Ceil
In my Bible Study this morning I was reminded how God views me as a child- His child.
He’s patient with me, He understands that I don’t know as much as He does. He realizes I need assurance and all the things a parent gives their children.
I learn so much from my own toddler.
Thanks for sharing this.
Hi TC! Isn’t that so true? Our relationships with our children can really help to understand the loving presence of the Lord. I like all your circumstances that you listed. We can learn a lot from our children, and see what a blessed place it is to be a child of God.
Have a good evening!
Ceil
Had been reminded by God many times about his love and be renewed too.
Lately, I saw a post a post in fb about a father who was out preaching the word of God, when he came home, he found his children murdered by those who hated that he is preaching the word of God. When asked if he is going to stop preaching because of what happened to his children, he answered that he will still continue. That
was tough. I was thinking that what kind of God’ s love actually is that when God let it happened to the one who is serving him?
Still, in my life I can feel God’s love to me..I wonder what would I do if that happens to me? How about you?
Hi Joy! The situation with this father and his family is so tragic I am just speechless. I always think in those circumstances about how we can do things like that to each other? I don’t think God wants that at all. It’s people making unbelievable choices.
I don’t know how I would react. I think I would be in so much shock, I wouldn’t be able to take it all in. I know that there are women who forgive their children’s killers here in the Midwest, and it never ceases to amaze me…so much faith. So much love. I hope I would be capable of that. But I sure hope I’d never have to find out.
You are wrestling with some deep questions. I pray you will find your answers.
Blessings,
Ceil
What a perfect and beautiful illustration Ceil! Even though we are adults there are times when it’s good to be like children. To learn and to listen and to obey. Loved this.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
Hi Debbie! I know you like children-based themes, so this one fits right in there
It does sound funny, but being a child is who I am with my Father. No matter how old I get!
Have a restful night,
Ceil
I know I’ve said this many times before… but did I ever need to see this today. I have been feeling lost, looking for the Lord… this heaviness of grief has felt crushing and dark. But I keep seeking His face and he seems to show Himself in remarkable one-of-a-kind-it can-only-be-God kind of ways.
Thank you Ceil for sharing and once again, ministering and comforting my heart.
xoxo
Hi Jennifer! I am so glad that you could see some peace in this post. I have been out of town for a few days…I am not sure what’s going on with you? I’ll check your blog out.
I think it’s wonderful to have such a great friendship through our blogs. Thank you for your kindnesses. I pray that you will feel better.
Hugs,
Ceil
Ceil, This is a beautiful representation of what it can be like to feel separated from God. I was here not too long ago; thankfully it didn’t last long. It’s hard when we know He is there, but don’t feel the connection we long for as we have in the past. Maybe it is just Him spurring us on to dig deeper for Him. It works. Love your writing, friend.
Hi Kim! I appreciate your kind comments, I really do. Thank you so much for your encouragement.
I’m glad that separation didn’t last too long. It’s so hard to feel so far away, isn’t it? I think it’s true that he wants us to know him on a deeper level, just as you said. Maybe that separation does act to pull us closer… He knows us the best, that’s for sure. He’ll do what he needs to do!
Always so good to see you, my friend
Ceil
Beautiful post, Ceil!
I am so thankful that God is right by my side and at all times. That is just a horrible feeling that you feel that you have been abandoned and all alone. I can count a few times that I have felt that and so have my children at times. I don’t want them to ever think I left them. This is really good…. You should try to get this published….
I think a lot of people struggle with this. So, glad you are here to spread the light, to encourage others and to lift them up. Thank you!
I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
Hugs,
Amy
Hi Amy! You have just made my day! Thank you for your lovely comments.
It is so hard to feel abandoned, and I think it’s easier to imagine through our children. They get scared so fast…and think we’re gone. But we’re right there all the time. I can learn a lot from my kids.
Happy Mother’s Day to you too! Hope you are all mended and feeling better
Ceil
beautiful visual…I could see your son as plain as day looking for you…I think we can all relate to your post….I have been much like your son in my spiritual walk.
Hi Dee! So nice to see you today! Thank you for your kind words, I think all women can connect to this theme (and Dads too!).
Well, I can’t write about it unless I understand it, so I’ve been there too. I keep hoping I’ll return to the Father faster and faster each time I think he’s lost. That’s the best I can do.
Happy Friday night, have a peaceful night!
Ceil
Wow. What a great analogy. Good call, Ceil; it doesn’t matter how old or mature we get here, we are His children in desperate need of our Father. Beautiful post and lesson, sister.
Hi Floyd! Yes, we are always children. Good thing we have the best Father ever
Happy Mothers Day to your wife, I hope you have a great day celebrating!
Blessings,
Ceil
Such a powerful image…and a powerful analogy.
God bless you, Ceil. Have a mighty day!
Hi Sandi! Thank you for visiting today, and for your encouraging comment
Have a peaceful night,
Ceil