Starting Over

I really wondered if I was in so deep I’d never get out. How did I manage to be in this classroom with nine rambunctious boys?

That last fall, my son had come to me with the sad news that his Cub Scout den leaders were quitting at the end of the year. I felt so bad. He really enjoyed scouting. “Maybe someone will volunteer,” I told him.

Oh yeah, someone volunteered. Me.

No one else could do it. I’d never been involved in scouting, never a Brownie or Blue Bird. But I bravely bought my yellow cotton shirt with the red pack numbers on the sleeve, and my leader guide book.

Meetings were held in my sons school after classes. It made sense on paper. But there were eight nine year olds who had been cooped up behind a desk for six hours. Finally let loose, they flew into another classroom to sit for another hour and half. Yikes. Can’t lie, it was chaotic.

No one was happier to hear that two moms decided to step in as Den leaders the next year. Did they feel sorry for me? For the kids? Either way, I was relieved. I really tried to learn and help out for a year, but I found out I just wasn’t cut out to be a Scout Leader.

I’ve run down dead ends thinking they were rose paths before, and I will again. Jobs, projects and volunteer projects that sounded so great, sometimes end in a heap on the floor. When that happens, I wonder if I’ll ever find the right place to bloom.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I took this photo while walking through the park. There are a lot of trees that look just like this. Bare trunks, with stripped limbs reaching up so high that I know this once was a huge, healthy tree. Somehow, it got so stressed that it’s towering life wilted and froze in a perpetual winter scene.

Except…

New life is starting around the trunk. New limbs, new leaves throw their color against the white bark. I was so inspired by this scene. This is what my life looks like after I take a wrong turn.

That year as a Den Mother was challenging. I grew into new knowledge and had to be strong to lead nine year old boys masquerading as border collies in a sheep field. It was hard work, but after all that growth, it was time to move on. The towering tree would be abandoned.

Looking back at that dry tree, I might think that I wasted my time. But God plans his own lessons to learn in every circumstance. Was this time wasted? No way.

But after that experience, it was time for new life, for new opportunities. Those little green sprouts in the photo mirror my own fresh start. No reason to regret something that didn’t work out. There’s a whole wide world out there. God will use me again.

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Linking today with: Thought Provoking Thursday

60 thoughts on “ Starting Over

  1. I had a year like that teaching Wednesday nights at our church. I did it because they couldn’t get anyone else, but it wasn’t my gift. I really appreciated what you shared here.

    • Hi Mari! Thank goodness I’m not the only one! I really was not cut out to be a Den Mother, but I just felt so bad for my son. I sure did learn a lot about scouting though.

      It is all about gifts. That is a great point. I’m not good at everything that’s for sure. I’m glad I could fill in for a time, and I was glad when it was over too :)

      Have a peaceful night,
      Ceil

  2. Bless your heart Ceil for stepping up to become a Den leader…..even though it didn’t work out for you. I’m sure you left something in everyone of those boys heart they will remember later on in life. Never regret…..God knows Blessings~~~Roxie

    • Hi Roxie! I teared up reading your comment, it was so kind. God does know, you are so right. I don’t know what my impact was on the boys, but I know that I tried.

      Thank you for your comment, it really hit home with me.
      Blessings,
      Ceil

    • Hi Lauren! I’ve made many ‘false starts’ in my day and I’m sure I’m not done with them either. I think we can be comforted knowing that God will always open another door.

      He loves and needs us too much to let us sit idle. I’m really glad about that!
      Have a wonderful Thursday,
      Ceil

  3. Prayers and time are the greatest gifts we can give someone. They show a generosity of spirit and a willingness and love to give part of us to someone else.

    That year may have been hard for you but it was a treasure for those children. They’ll grow up to remember what fun they had that year, even though they might not spare a thought for you. (I’m sure they will though).

    Had you not stepped in that year, probably the group would have been disbanded and those children would have missed on a year of opportunities.

    You gave them, that year, something irreplaceable (I hope there is such a word; if not, I’ve just invented it).

    You gave them your time, your patience, and your love.

    May God bless you plenty for it.

    • Hi Victor! Oh, ‘irreplaceable’ is definitely a word. Thank you for all your kind words. I have no idea what impact I had on the boys or not, but I do resonate with your points about them missing a year.

      I just know how much my son liked scouting. We’ll do anything for our kids, right? Even if it wasn’t quite right for me, at least I gave them some continuity.
      I appreciate your prayer for God to bless me. You are a wonderful blog-friend,
      Ceil

  4. Hi Ceil! I love the new photo on your blog, so cute!

    Well done for trying :) The good thing is that, there is nothing we go through that goes to waste. In fact, God loves to use the things we consider weak to bring the glory to Himself. I’m sure you were a blessing to them in ways you might not yet understand. God bless your heart!

    Have a wonderful day my friend :)
    Shade
    .

    • Hi Shade! I like it too :)

      I like the way you said nothing goes to waste. I know that’s true. So anything we do that may not seem like much, really can be used by God. I’m not very sure that any of them would remember me, but that’s okay. God knows I tried, and my son did too.

      You have a great Thursday!
      Ciel

    • Hi Monica! It really makes me happy when you read my posts and can relate to the idea. Thank you for telling me! And I’m glad this isn’t the first time either. It’s a wonderful thing to make a connection through our blogs, don’t you think?

      Blessings to you,
      Ceil

  5. Oh Ceil, you were living my life. Been there–done that. Thankful my Den Mother days are past! Had this very discussion last night—God can use us–even when we are not called or gifted—but always when we are obedient!
    Blessings,Friend!

    • Hi Lulu! You too, huh? You give me a lot of peace in your comment. I love the idea that God can use us even if it’s not our area of expertise. He loves me and you and won’t make our efforts a nothing. He always wants to make ‘something’ of our works.

      Thank you for your beautiful reminder of that. You always have the most interesting discussions. Thank you for sharing some of it here.
      Blessings right back to you,
      Ceil

  6. Thanks for sowing in that word of hope to us. It’s far too easy to let the discouragement of wrong turns paralyze us in a winter state. Love the pictures, love the metaphor, love the sweet remind that God makes all things new and He is always, always working through us even when we don’t see how.

    • Hi Crystal! Thank you for your kind words. I did like the thought of winter when I saw those bare trees. That’s what it feels like when I’m obviously doing something I am not called to do.

      But if I learned anything, I learned that I tackled this job with love. I wanted to help out my son. And I guess I learned that Den Mom is not a good place for me. Fortunately, as you said, God is always working in us even when I feel I’m not making any headway.

      Have a blessed Thursday :)
      Ceil

  7. Guaranteed God will use you again. Probably not as a den mother though. :) i was a youth pastor for my first ministry and then went into the preaching ministry. After 5 years i went back into youth ministry. Not the best idea although I did okay. Years later I was asked to help with the youth ministry (even though I was the Sr pastor) and that was a big, big mistake!! Sometimes the shoe doesn’t fit either foot.

    • Hi Bill! I know what you mean. Den Mother wasn’t the only wrong road I have taken, and I’m sure it’s not the last. Well, at least we tried, right? Sometimes people invite us to lead things, or we volunteer, for the right reasons. Sometimes there’s just a hole and someone needs to step up. Doesn’t really mean that I’m cut our for it!

      We’ll keep working on it. Hopefully we learn from our experiences!
      Blessings,
      Ceil

  8. Thanks so much for sharing this today, Ceil. Your timing couldn’t have been better! I am in one of those “deep do-do” places right now. I took a job that seemed “perfect” but now I am noticing some not-so-perfect aspects of it that are making me rethink my decision. Praying for wisdom and discernment in this situation.

    • Hi Pam! I am so sorry that you are in this position Pam. I’ve been there (obviously!). I will pray right along with you that God will flood you with his grace to give you wisdom and peace.

      It’s not a fun place to be. I know the Lord is with you, and wants to direct you. Let me know how it works out, ok?
      Blessings and prayers,
      Ceil

  9. And had you NOT stepped up- the boys would have had NOTHING. That may in fact be the best lesson learned. Because of your willingness to ‘try’… there is still a tree and it still has the blessing and opportunity to sprout once again.

    God blesses all our efforts! And when we take faithful steps… trees live!! Good for you mama!!! Good for you.

    • Hi Chris! Thank you for your hugely encouraging comment. And I never thought about the tree still being there, only about the new growth. That’s an interesting thing to remember.

      You are right that God will bless all our efforts. I know he blessed me so I could get through that scouting year :)
      Welcome back my friend!
      Ceil

  10. Oh, what a great analogy….and good advice. Sometimes I think of things that I bomb at as a waste of time….but God tells us that ALL things work together for good for those of us who LOVE HIM!!! Thanks so much for the reminder!

    • Hi Deb! Well, I had to remind myself of that fact. I felt so completely unmatched for the job, but…we all lived through it and no one quit anyway. You are so right, God loved me right through that experience. He is an awesome God!

      Thank you for visiting today :)
      Ceil

  11. I’ve been there, done that, exactly that! And I also learned (even though I had been a Girl Scout and a Brownie and then a mother of 3 boys), it just wasn’t my “cup of tea”. But, like you, I wanted my son to have that experience, and if I didn’t do it, he might have missed that chance. But yes, we do learn from our tests and trials where we are meant to be, and where we are NOT meant to be. God is constantly pruning and retraining us into becoming the beautiful fruitful tree that we were intended to be in the first place. Some limbs are just meant to be lopped off…and others are meant to flourish. Great story. Thank you for sharing with us. Got us all thinking about the areas of growth and pruning that we have experienced…God does work in mysterious ways.

    • Hi Pam! Get out of town, really?? That’s amazing!

      I like the idea of pruning so I will go the right way. He knows I’m not going to do that again, that’s for sure! But just knowing that it can be an experience that led me to where he needs me to be is very comforting. Thank you for that.

      He sure does work in mysterious ways. And I need to accept all that pruning so I can grow into a large, strong tree.

      Have a peaceful night,
      Ceil

  12. love the blog’s new look. very cute and inviting. Good words and wow a brave woman to volunteer to be den mother.. I hear the olive trees in Jerusalem if chopped down, send up new limbs like the tree you showed here. God certainly does provide life where needed. By the way, thank you for volunteering with those future men – I am sure many seeds were planted. Bless you!

    • Hi Jean! Thanks for your comment about the fall look here. I appreciate your noticing!

      I didn’t know about the trees in Jerusalem, that is really cool. God can create new out of what seems dead, I just love that image. Just when I think I have really wasted my time, he gently sends up new shoots, a new life. Gotta love that :)

      Good to see you today! Have a restful night,
      Ceil

  13. I think sometimes we have to realize we can’t do it all! It’s weird reading this, though, since I spent the last hour researching and writing about how a Boy Scout troop can use fundraisers to take trips to earn merit badges…

    • Hi Stephanie! I think the Boy Scouts and the Cub Scouts do wonderful work. That’s one of the reasons I volunteered. But as you said, one person can’t do it all. I know this was not my forte. But that’s ok, God always has a plan!

      Blessings on your article :)
      Ceil

  14. Hello, I really needed this post tonight!! God will use everything we go through willingly or not so willingly! At least you tried and for all the right reasons!
    Loved this…. Nothing is wasted
    Love, Roxy

    • Hi Roxy! Thank you for your kind words, and you are so right. God will use everything, and he knew my heart was in the right place. And that I would learn a lot from trying.

      Nothing wasted…absolutely!

      Thank you for your visit, and have a peaceful night :)
      Ceil

  15. Praise God!
    Yes, sometimes we take on things we possibly shouldn’t (I’m guilty of this) but God uses even those times to mature us and teach us. It certainly wasn’t a “wasted” year- for anyone involved!
    This world needs people willing to step up and try new things. It’s how we all learn and grow.

    • Hi TC! You are right about stepping into new things. Who knows? Maybe it would have been just the thing for me! It’s very true that I should keep stepping out too, because God wants me to use all my gifts…not just the few I may know about.

      Great points TC, thank you!
      Ceil

    • Hi Jennifer! Your last sentence says it all. He is so loving, so patient, and wants the best for me. Even if I wander down the wrong road, he will shepherd me back.

      And I should let him be the judge of my works, not me or anyone else!

      I hope you have a great weekend too my friend :)
      Ceil

    • Hi Linda! Well, if we do, I should have learned a boat-load by now! Seems like I am always taking off down a new path. But, I think as I get older, I take more time with decisions. That keeps me from a lot of grief.

      I hope your weekend is wonderful my friend. Enjoy the coming fall weather!
      Ceil

  16. Beautiful thoughts, Ceil! How do you think of these? What a gift you have.

    Teaching Confirmation again this year. For me, it’s a lot like exercising. Don’t like to do it, but once I’m started and then even more, once I finish, I feel GREAT!

    • Hi Patty! I like your analogy to exercise. I have the same experience with working at the homeless shelter. I usually work the 11 pm to 3 am shift. Ugh. I don’t look forward to it at all.

      But when it’s done, I’m so thankful I did it. (Just like exercise!)
      Thank you for your encouragement Patty, I really appreciate it :)

      Weekend blessings,
      Ceil

  17. Bless your willing heart to step in where needed. I think God is always looking for those willing – even if He just keeps us there long enough until the one with the true gifting for that area steps in.

    • Hi Mindy! My heart needed to be blessed, believe me. It was hard work!
      I like your idea of standing in the gap until the right one comes along. I think I have done that more than once in my life. That’s a great insight, thank you!
      I’m looking forward to the book in the mail :)
      Ceil

  18. Wow! That was brave of you to step in for those boys, Ceil. :) And what a beautiful analogy of that tree! This week on a nature walk I was enthralled by a dead, decaying trunk with new life growing out of it. Thanks for the encouraging reminder!

    • Hi Trudy! Don’t you just love being out in nature? It really calms me and brings me peace. And ideas too :)

      Thank you for the count of bravery my friend. I didn’t feel ready, so I guess it was a little brave.

      Have a great weekend :)
      Ceil

    • Hi Lisa! Well, I guess I was brave, but I know we’d all do anything for our kids. Especially if its a good thing like the Scouts.

      I’m glad you liked the picture. I don’t use too many in my posts, but I just loved the idea of new growth. God will use me again!

      Happy Weekend!
      Ceil

    • Hi Marsha! Thank you for your encouraging comment, and I am glad you liked the photo. I don’t use them very much, but I just loved the lesson it taught me.

      I am not always ‘positive’, but I’m trying to get there!
      Happy Weekend my friend :)
      Ceil

  19. I had a year as a den mom too. :) I’m glad it only lasted a year. And I have had many seasons of this same thought, “I wonder if I’ll ever find the right place to bloom.” But I think often we don’t see until later how we did bloom right where God planted us. I am so grateful He wastes nothing in our life.
    Great post. And I love your header too! Much love. xoxo

    • Hi Beth! Wow, there are a bunch of us out there! I am sure I bloomed because of his grace that helped me negotiate the learning curve. He doesn’t waste anything, you are so right. If nothing else, it gave me something to write about :)

      Thank you for your kind words about the header. I really like it too. And I hope you are enjoying your reunion!

      Keep warm!
      Ceil

  20. I can so relate to getting involved with some ministry of some sort and not feeling like I was the right fit for it. But you are so right – if we will allow God to- He will use what ever situation to transform us into who He intends for us to be!
    PRaise the Lord for that ! Lisa :O)

    • Hi Lisa! I’m so glad you can relate to my experience. It was a tough year, but as you said, God made it over into something good for the Cub Scouts. And I found out something that I am not very good at too.

      Thank you for reading two posts and commenting too. I really appreciate your support :)
      Have a peaceful night,
      Ceil

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