For over five years, I have joined four women for a summer study. Sometimes we read books, or study the bible. Whatever we do, we have a wonderful time because we enjoy and respect each other. And we want to deepen our faith.
This summer we are reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen. It’s a study of the Prodigal Son parable through reflections on Rembrandt’s painting. The author had an opportunity to spend several hours gazing at the original work in Russia and has incredible insights to share about all the participants of the story. I was able to see this painting at the Hermitage Museum last year, so I was excited to dig deep into the richness and drama of the parable.
Two sons live and work in their father’s house. The younger son decides he’s had enough and asks for his share of the father’s wealth. He gets it, leaves, and squanders all his money. Hitting rock bottom, he ends up feeding pigs on another man’s farm.
He decides to return home, hoping his father will take him back. He even practices what he will say. “I will set out and go back to my Father and say to him: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you…”
His father joyfully takes him back. Party time! But not everyone is happy. The older brother who never left his father, becomes angry. Because he never left, he thinks he is owed a party too. He cannot understand why his father is taking this ‘deserter’ back. His father pleads with him to be happy. But he can’t do it. Every word he hisses slaps the face of his father. “All these years I have slaved for you…but for this son of yours…you kill the fatted calf.” (Luke 15) The corrosive self-pity of the older son is as sad as it is cold. There is no love, insight or understanding in what he says.
What if the older son had responded in a different way?
One of the women in the group found this article, and brought it to our meeting. I wanted to share it with you.
The Prayer the Older Son Should Have Said to His Father
“Father, one of the servants just told me that my brother has returned home. At first, I was upset that he came back. He acted so selfishly, thinking about no one but himself. Oh how he betrayed you! But now I’m being selfish, because I know how much you’ve missed him. I’ve often seen you watching the road in the hopes that you’d see him coming up the pathway. So, Father, I think it’s wonderful that he’s back. God has granted your prayers for his protection, and I can’t wait to see him. I know how worried you have been, not knowing where he was or if he was even alive. I know you have to be thrilled to know that he is safe and back home again. I can’t blame you for throwing him the biggest party this family has ever seen. Once again, the love and forgiveness that is so much a part of who you are is being demonstrated…
It’s been a blessing to remain home and to work alongside you, and I am so grateful for the closeness that has developed between us. I can’t wait for brother to share in that love. He’ll never want to leave home again. I love you Papa.”
I think all five of our jaws dropped after reading this. Isn’t it beautiful?
This book is helping me see the ugliness in jealousy and resentment. And this prayer helped me to see the beauty in love and forgiveness.
Linking today with: Thought Provoking Thursday
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Ceil~ Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful prayer with us. I have struggled a bit with understanding that parable and this prayer really helped me understand it in a whole new way – in a much deeper level. God bless~ Lisa :O)
Hi Lisa! I think you’d really like this book too. Although it’s one man’s opinion, he really brings out a lot of good points about the parable, and you dive deeper into the reactions of the main players.
I’m glad you liked this prayer. I just had to share it!
Have a great day 🙂
Ceil
This is so beautiful. How can you read the story of the Prodigal Son and not be overawed about what an amazing Father God we have.
Hi Elizabeth! I agree. And how can you not see some part of yourself in both sons as well? Jesus really knew how to tell a multi-layered story…so simple, but so meaningful and complex too.
We do have an amazing Father!
Nice to see you today, thank’s for visiting 🙂
Ceil
Most definitely a unique prayer Ceil. I learned a long time ago to get rid of jealousy and envy. They only lead to heartache. Hope your study continues to be a rich time for you.
Hi Bill! That is a wonderful lesson to learn. I know I still need to do work on that. Both of those emotions really damage me, because it stops me in my tracks from enjoying my life, and the love of God in others. I really admire you.
I am really enjoying the study, thank you. It’s bringing fresh insights to a well-known parable.
Happy Thursday!
Ceil
Yes! That is the prayer each of needs to pray when someone comes back ‘home’. Jesus loves each and every one of us, and our ‘internal’ secret sin of petty jealousy is just as responsible for the death of Jesus as someone else’s open sin of —(fill in the blank).
Hi Anita! Wow, great point. Every moment of jealousy is such a sadness to Christ. Not only because it hurts us, but because it hurts him. I like that, thank you!
Blessings,
Ceil
Wow – that really is beautiful! That parable always speaks to me, because I could easily be the older brother. I’m the “good kid” but the sins of pride, jealousy and unforgiveness are lurking there and always need to be kept in check.
Hi Mari! You are very self-aware. I want to be more like you! That’s a great insight into the character of the Older Son too. We can all be ‘good kids’ and resent it every step of the way.
I need to keep myself in check too Mari. All those qualities you listed can really drag me down, creating a sour life for me, and a sadness for the Savior.
Let’s be joyful and forgiving instead!
Ceil
WOW…the older son’s prayer really shows a contrast between jealousy and forgiveness. Much food for me to think on today as I am out and about. Thank you so much for sharing this, Ceil.
Hi Dianna! Don’t you just love this prayer? I was really surprised by how much it hit me. I’m really happy you liked it too 🙂
Have a great Thursday!
Ceil
I’ve never quite understood this parable and sympathise with the older son. Let me explain.
I’ve often said that my Father Ignatius stories are mostly based on real facts I’ve witnessed. I do know of a case just like this parable where one sibling is getting most of the attention and financial help than the others. I’ve not written a story about it in case those involved read my Blog.
I’d be most interested in what your group makes of this parable.
God bless.
Hi Victor! Oh, I think I can relate to all the main characters in the parable. I see myself in all of them! So it’s not very surprising that you sympathize with the older son. I can see myself in his selfishness and attitude. But I want him to change, just like I want me to change too.
I’ll probably do a few posts on this wonderful parable, and share what we talked about. Thanks for asking! It’s a very deep, rich story. We commented that everyone has heard it, but because of that, it’s often dismissed.
God bless you and yours,
Ceil
Sorry Ceil to come back again.
I note from your readers’ comments that they like the older son’s prayer and the implied forgiveness and lack of jealousy therein. Good as it may be as a lesson, however, in real life it can be very different indeed.
The case I speak of, one sibling is getting a disproportionate amount of financial assistance from the parents than the other siblings, who have worked hard through University and are working hard in jobs to make ends meet. They never complain (openly at least) but deep in their hearts it must really hurt to see so much financial aid directed in one direction. I have spoken to the parents many time about this to no avail.
I find it difficult to forgive such a situation, even though I’m not involved. It shows what a sinner I am.
God bless.
Come back anytime my friend.
It’s so interesting that you share this situation. In our group, we wondered if the older son was worried that the father would give more money to the younger son?
The chasm between how God wants us to be, and how we, are is very wide, I’m sure you’d agree. How do we understand the parable of the workers in the field? The ones who worked for a few hours got the same reward as the ones who worked all day. What? That seems massively unfair. But, that’s how God works.
Still, I don’t see Jesus ever telling us to treat our children unequally. The situation you describe is a hard one, and I hope the siblings are not suffering, seeing the generosity of their parents toward only one of their children. Accepting the parent’s decision might be very hard on them, but I hope it isn’t.
You are a good friend to them Victor.
Back again !!!!
I always worried that the yongest son would now inherit half of what is left. My priest said: No. He would inherit nothing because he’s already had his share of the inheritance. I guess my priest doesn’t have any children !!! Would he say: No to his son if he asked more?
In the situation I speak of, about 80% of the parental financial aid goes to one sibling (she’s 32). The rest is divided amongst the other siblings. I’ve never heard them complain. I feel this is grossly unfair. In effect she is taking a large proportion of the availabe inheritance now. I am not involved in this situation; but as a by-stander my capacity to forgive runs very low.
You may wish to read what I wrote some time ago about the parable of the vineyard here: http://timeforreflections.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/guess-whos-in-heaven.html
God bless.
Cool. Henri Nouwen. Beautiful artwork. Good friends. Rich conversation.
What a way to spend a summer’s eve …
Wish I lived closer … I’d invite myself over!
;-}
Hi Linda! If you were here, you’d be in the group faster than you could blink!
It really is a great oasis in my week, and a wonderful way to learn from other like-minded women. And did I mention that we have snacks? Yay!!
I think I’m going to do a few posts on this wonderful parable, and what I learned from God through Nouwen and through these great friends.
Blessings on your new adventures my friend!
Ceil
Jealousy. Yes, I’ve learned a bit through the Love Dare where jealousy still resides in me and it’s ugly and I keep discovering the places it exists. Whenever I see it I pray for it to be replaced with a heart of love.
There are so many wonderful lessons in the story of the Prodigal Son. Love it!
Blessings to you, friend.
xoxo
Hi Beth! This attitude of the older son really does dovetail nicely with your Love Dare series. His reaction to the lost brother is everything that is the opposite of love. What an illustration of what self-interest and jealousy can do to a family, not to mention his own soul.
I’m glad you liked the post today!
Have a wonderful Thursday 🙂
Ceil
That’s one of my favorite stories in God’s word. It demonstrates so much, not only the love and forgiveness of our heavenly Father for us, but it also shows the ugly legalistic side of following rules instead of the heart of God. Judging from the covers of the brother’s books only, it’s easy to assume the younger son has the worst sin in his life… until the older one shows his true heart…
Thanks for the reminder, Ceil.
Hi Floyd! You are so right about perception of the brothers. I think we all agreed that most of the teachings and sermons about this parable center around the younger son. It’s such a stark contrast between lost and found, so it’s easy to grasp his story. The older son is more a study in his internal feelings boiling to the surface.
I can see why you like this parable!
Ceil
This makes my jaw drop too. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything about what his reaction *should* have been. Beautiful. I want to have that reaction myself when a prodigal comes home. Resentment is a nasty beast…
Hi Lisa! I have never seen anything like this either. I’m so glad you liked it, I just was stunned by it’s beauty. And how different it is from the words in of the older son in the parable.
I want to be like that too. I have a long way to go. Love that comparison of resentment to ‘nasty beast’. It sure is.
Have a peaceful afternoon,
Ceil
Two thumbs up!! A priest gave a homily based on a similarity to this prayer. I love this Bible story!
Hi Patty! Thanks for your support! You are the second person to say how much you love this parable. It’s so rich and deep in it’s message. I’ve really enjoyed studying it. I’ll share more insights in last posts.
Good to see you 🙂
Ceil
That prayer is just like how I wish my heart was, instead of selfish and prideful and full of self-pity….just like the older son! 🙁
Hi Deb! Oh my, I am right with you. I wish I was more like this prayer too. I’ll work my whole life to get there. Don’t lose hope my friend. God graces our souls to close up the holes of weakness. Just keep trying. We’ll try together ok?
Hugs,
Ceil
First–I have missed you!
Second—I find myself jealous of your study with your friends. I left a “Really Small-Small Group” just like that when I moved to Texas and have not found a new group yet.
Great post—my question–how many of us Fallen are able to pray the prayer we should? That is when I have to tell Him I KNOW what I should pray—but I am having a tough time going there–ONLY with Your Help will I be able to do this!
Hi Lulu! I’ve missed you too! Thanks for your visit today 🙂
The small group started because I just reached out and asked. The people changed around like musical chairs for a while, but now it’s the same ladies for the last five years. I’d say start talking it up at church and see who listens! You never know how many would love to be in a small group too.
I really love that prayer you prayed. God knows well we are not perfect, he gives us models to follow, but he knows how we struggle. You are asking for his help, and I know he will give it!
Great comment 🙂
Ceil
Wow! Reading this prayer… I’m speechless!…What a loving heart! I take a guess that, this is the kind of heart Jesus prayed for His Church in John 17:21, “That we will all be one in Christ as Jesus and the Father are one.” I think i’m going to be reflecting on this prayer for a while.
Ceil, thanks for sharing! And enjoy the rest of the reading 🙂
Hi Shade! Isn’t it just great! We were so touched by it. And maybe you’re right about the John passage. This prayer really does reflect a totally selfless and loving person…and inclusive too. Sounds like the great heart of God to me!
Blessings,
Ceil
Beautiful post and prayer, Ceil! John MacArthur wrote a wonderful book on this topic, called “A Tale of Two Sons.” He compares the younger son to the sinner who recognizes his sinful state and need for a Savior, and the elder son to the self-righteous, “religious” person who thinks he is justified in his own works and therefore cannot be saved. So often this pattern repeats itself in modern-day families, in which the “good” son obeys his parents and is active in church service but is unsaved, and the delinquent child finally comes to the end of himself, has true repentance, is saved and spends his life submitted to God’s will.
God bless,
Laurie
Hi Laurie! That’s a great insight! And it’s true in many cases. When our actions and our hearts are not united, there is bound to be trouble. As the bible says, who can know the human heart?
I’m going to make a note of this book. It sounds really good. Thank you!
Blessings,
Ceil
Ceil:
I have a devotional book that has several of Nouwen’s writings. I love those passages I have read. This prayer your friend found makes me stop and wonder if I could be that forgiving had I been in the place of the older brother.
Hi Cecelia! I bet you’d like this book then. I really do love his absolute fearlessness is exposing his weaknesses. It’s amazing really.
I don’t know if I could be as gracious as this prayer, it’s pretty much perfection isn’t it? And I’m certainly not perfect. But I loved it just the same. I hope to get closer to it at least!
Have a peaceful evening 🙂
Ceil
Sounds like this offers an interesting perspective. Sometimes I am challenged with feeling like the prodigal’s brother – working on getting better at that. Trusting Him to work it all through in me. 🙂
Hi Karen! Well, I just loved it. It was so different from what the Older Son actually said, it just blew me away.
I am challenged too, no joke. I don’t know if I could be this loving…probably not. But Jesus is telling me that this is my goal. So…keep trying right? I trust he will help me too.
Have a peaceful evening,
Ceil
Thanks for sharing this Ceil – thought provoking indeed! Hope your summer is going well with time for rest and reflection. I appreciate you!
Hi Mindy! Thank you for your kind comment. I appreciate you too!
Have a restful night,
Ceil
Wow, Ceil! What an eye opener! I remember this story from the bible and part of me sided with the angry brother. Putting it in a whole new light changes my perspective. A good lesson even in modern times!
Hi Marcia! I know! I really loved this prayer. And I think many people feel for this older brother who can’t understand how it’s ‘fair’ that his younger brother gets all the attention.
Jesus’ parables are timeless. I don’t think there is anyone who couldn’t relate to the themes. And the fact that we will never know how the older brother responded…that gives a lot of room for thought too!
Thanks for visiting today 🙂
Ceil
Hi Ceil
Wow, that is an awesome prayer and how we should respond if we are the brother/sister of the prodigal. You are so right that jealousy just hurts and damages.
God bless
Tracy
Hi Tracy! How nice to see you today!
I really was impressed with this prayer. It’s so different in spirit from the words of the Older Son to his father. I’m not saying that I could be that open and loving all the time, but what a model to aspire to!
Much better than the hurtful situation that is presented, that’s for sure.
Happy Friday 🙂
Ceil
Hi Ceil
That prayer is so beautiful.
I am happy you shared it.
So nice to be here again.
Missed you while I was away.
Hi Margie! Welcome back! I hope you had a restful blog-break.
Thank you, I’m so glad you liked this prayer. It was just stunning to read. So beautiful.
Glad your back! I missed you too 🙂
Ceil