Hospitality 101

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Clean houses make me nervous.

If I am coming over to your house, please don’t strain yourself by cleaning for hours. I really don’t require your home to look like a staged photograph from House Beautiful. It would make me feel like I’m going to break or spill something. Not that I am overly klutzy or anything. It’s just that all that order puts me on the defensive.
I like clutter. It looks a lot like my brain, so I am comfortable in the middle of it. I actually prefer a few coffee cups in the sink; a few toys here and there on the floor. To me, these things are decorations. It’s the proof that life is happening right here. There is peace in that fact, and I am instantly at ease. It’s the polar opposite of how I’d feel in House Beautiful.
Little messes tell me that you have priorities, and getting on with them trumps the vacuum. You are silently witnessing to me the fact that you dive into the joy of the moment- the child on the floor trying to crawl, the phone call from a friend who needs you today.
You don’t have to tell me not to look at your dining room table. Mine looks the same way. Oh! You think you’re supposed to eat off that? Come on now. We all know the ‘dining room table’ is a code word for: ‘file folder.’ As in: “I don’t know where to put it…I know! I’ll put it on the file folder!”
The fact that you’ve invited me here shows me how much you value the friendships in your life. The fact that you didn’t find it necessary to sterilize your kitchen tells something too. You know I’ll be comfortable with your life, and you don’t mind letting it just hang out there for me to see.
The dishrag, hung over a kitchen chair to dry, is a familiar sight. It makes me feel like I have a sister! Chairs are multi-taskers, just like us. They’re not just for sitting. They are a clothesline too! I recognize what I see and I’m at home.
So let’s get together for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. But only if you promise me not to fuss. I enjoy seeing your toys and papers spread out on the floor and on the dining room table. It gives me the contentment of seeing another life that is always moving, but never fast enough to erase the joy.

I don’t want to be a reason for you to worry. I want to be a reason to celebrate, relax, talk and laugh. You can sweep, dust, vacuum and scrub later. After all, I’m here to visit you. Not your house.

Linking today with: Hear It On Sunday, Use It On Monday , Sharing His Beauty , Playdates with God
Unite! , Titus2sdays , Teaching What is Good

62 thoughts on “ Hospitality 101 ”

    • Hi Anna! Thank you for visiting here today!

      I think our embarrassment over our house skills can keep us from hospitality. Better to honor our friends, right?

      Great to meet you today :)
      Ceil

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  2. Haha 😀 Love this! Love to know your perspective of “home”.
    Well, I live with many people here. My own house is small but all day people never stop come in to this house, even some of children want to sleep with my parents. I can tell it all happens for all day. Even we almost dont have time to clean this and that…so there where’s love life and laugh collided in the messing house.

    I am glad that you share your thoughts about this, and I am so agree with you :)Thanks.

    Blessing,
    delvalina

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    • HI Delvalina! Your house sounds like a house I would like! No worries about super clean, just hospitality and care. Perfect!

      What a beautiful reflection of the love of God in your house. It is so inspiring, Delvalina!

      Peace in Christ,
      Ceil

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  3. You sound just like my husband, Ceil. :-) Sometimes I think he wants to throw around some extra clutter so people will feel even more welcome. ha. I still struggle with it myself though, but I do know that a perfect house does not feel welcome (not that I have one, by any means!). Thanks for sharing this; I love the heart of your message.

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    • HI Lisa! Let it not be said that I like creeping crud and bugs! That’s different.

      But you are so right that a perfect house is not necessary to welcome your friends and family. They love YOU!

      Thanks for coming by today!
      Ceil

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  4. Oh Ceil, this was perfect, absolutely perfect! I loved the way you wrote this – sometimes it’s easy to get focused on making my house look “just right” in case someone comes over and sometimes I panic if a guest comes and there are dishes in the sink, toys on the floor, and papers stacked on the counter, but you know what, that is life and my house is for living in :) So please, come over … it would be absolutely delightful to have a chat and cup of coffee with you. You will find a pile of fabric yo-yo’s on my counter that I have been working on all weekend for projects, supper in the crock pot, and a half-eaten piece of toast on the kitchen table :)

    You are a blessing, thank you! Love and hugs.

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    • HI Stephanie! You totally get the point! And I would LOVE to come over and have a coffee. And I don’t even know what fabric yo-yo’s are, but I know they wouldn’t bother me! LOL!

      So wonderful to have you as a good blog friend. Have a blessed day, and hugs back to you!
      Ceil

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    • Hi Ashley! Well, we are all a bit of a clutter people, but a little clean up now and again is a good idea!

      it’s more the idea that it’s ok if we’re not perfect. Our friends will love us more than a little mess :)

      Nice to see you today!
      Ceil

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  6. How fun, Ceil! I am somewhere between clutter and clean…but I like the idea about you are in my home to visit me…not see my house!

    Thanks for stopping by my place and inviting me to yours!

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    • HI Mary! Thanks for coming over, hope it’s not too cluttered for you! I invited you over without cleaning first! LOL!

      I think being right in the middle of the clutter vs clean is the perfect place to be :)

      Peace to you!
      Ceil

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  7. What a treat to have you drop in for a visit with me, Ceil! I enjoyed your comment and I’ve enjoyed being here for a visit with you! I like your idea of hospitality! 😉 I think one of the first things that is a part of a person’s life whom I view as hospitable is that they almost instantly put me at ease…regardless of location and circumstances. You’ve done that very thing for me! Thanks so much! Looking forward to getting to know you better! And thank you for following me.

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    • HI Dianna! Oh my goodness, it was so fun to find you! I love making new blog friends :)

      I am so glad that you understood the meaning of my post. Being at ease with a friend or friend in the making is just the best, isn’t it? I look forward to getting to know you, and becoming good blog buddies!

      Happy Monday!
      Ceil

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  8. Thank you! For years i was incredibly house proud. But as I get older I know that the real friends are the ones that just accept me as I am, even if there are mugs in the sink and files on the table!

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    • HI Elizabeth! Don’t you just want to die if a housefly buzzes past a guest? It’s so embarrassing, but these things happen. What’s more important?

      I am honored to accept you as you are!

      Thanks for visiting here today!
      Ceil

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    • Hi Noriko! Now you know I never cleaned up for you! LOL! You know my house at it’s best and worst, and still you are my friend.

      This post is for you especially!

      Peace to you,
      Ceil

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  10. Hello Ceil,

    I came over to visit you through my sweet daughters blog theenchantingrose. I just love your blog! I must tell you that I was in stitches reading your post. :) I’m still laughing. How very true of the dinning room table. My precious father-in-law loves their dinning room table for his filing cabnet, Betty always said “we use this table three times a year, Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving.” She was a gentle spirited women and went right along with her husband, though it was hard.

    Your words “It is my goal to see the movement of the Lord in every part of my life. I might not see it every day, so I need the Holy Spirit, and you, to evengelize to me” was what made me choose to follow you.

    My desire is to live my life in such a way that honors my Lord and Savior, and brings great glory to Him. So, I look forward to coming over to your home to be evangelized. Some time we shall have a cup of tea together and fellowship.

    Blessings to you!

    Reply ↓

    • HI Debbie! What a treat to meet you! First I must tell you how much I just adore your daughter. She is such a sweet, encouraging person.

      How wonderful that we share the same goal of seeing God in all the parts of our lives. I think a lot of people do, and that is a wonder right there. You come on over anytime, I am so looking forward to getting to know you!

      I am blessed that you came here today. What a gift on a Monday :)
      Ceil

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  11. Dear Ceil
    We do tend to fall for the lie that to be okay and acceptable, our whole life should be spic and span. We easily forget that it is not the outside that matters so much, but the inside that needs a thorough spring clean every now and then!
    Love to you XX
    Mia

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    • HI Mia! Yes! You get the idea here, it is what we are that is important, not what we have or the condition of the floor!

      Of course, my insides could use a good clean from time to time too, you are right about that.

      Peace in Christ,
      Ceil

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  12. OK, Ceil – come on in!!

    I loved this post. I think sometimes we all get caught up in being *Martha* – and worry unnecessarily about the clutter and debris of living life that gets scattered around our homes. Most people don’t care at all, and would be happy to spend time with us, no matter if the house wasn’t able to pass the *white glove* test!

    Let’s learn to be more like Mary. Focusing on the important stuff like warm hearts, and welcoming arms to all visitors who might enjoy our hospitality.

    GOD BLESS!

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    • Hi Sharon! Good call with the Martha/Mary thing. I didn’t make that connection, but it sure does fit. Mary would sit and listen and make that priority clear.

      Yes! Let’s be more like Mary here. And you come on back here anytime, no matter if I vacuumed or not!!

      Happy Monday!
      Ceil

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  14. Ceil, this is beautiful. When my Mom lived with us during her cancer treatments, we had all kinds of people in and out of the house. I learned to let go of my perfectionism with cleaning and it was so very freeing. Now I’m like you and actually prefer when people don’t clean their homes before I come over. Lived in spaces are beautiful!

    Reply ↓

    • Hi Anne! I am so sorry about your Mom, Anne. What a hard time for you. My Mom also died of cancer while we took care of her at home. Cleaning was the last thing on our minds, believe me.

      I guess it helped us both to get over some perfectionist tendencies. You are so right, lived in spaces are the best!

      Thanks for coming over!
      Ceil

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  15. Thanks, Ceil, for your visit and kind words left on my Pursuing Heart blog. And I’m glad I came over here to visit, in return. Love your words of welcome, and your encouragement to simply share our homes, whether they are perfectly in order or not. I am a person of order, so sometimes I fuss too much about cleaning up – and your words were an encouragement to me.

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    • HI Cherry! It was fun to meet you!

      I am glad that you liked the post today. I am a person of order too, but for some reason, my house gets a pass… A LOT! LOL! But I know that people are more important than perfection, so it’s a good start.

      Happy Monday!
      Ceil

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    • HI Katherine! You can help your kids understand that you are taking care of them, and sometimes that means you can’t always get to cleaning. It’s ok! They need to know that life is messy sometimes :)

      My husband would come home when the kids were little, stepping over blocks and toys. He would ask me “When is this house going to be clean?” I just calmly told him, “In about 20 years.” It got to be a joke after a while!

      So good to see you here today!
      Ceil

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    • Hi Gretchen! So happy to have met you today through the bloghop! Thank you for joining Evangelize too :) I look forward to getting to know you better.

      I love that plaque! It really gives us all a reality check. A little mess in life is ok!

      Happy Monday!
      Ceil

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  18. A friend just told me that if you want to see me, come anytime. If you want to see my house, schedule an appointment. Thought it was very true.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog to comment.

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    • Hi Anna! So nice to meet you today through the bloghop!

      This quote from your friend is just the heart of this post. Thank you for quoting her today!

      I hope you’ll come back here again, I look forward to your comments :)
      Ceil

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    • Hi Jen! Yay! A playdate :)

      I would love to come over, anytime! LOL! But when we ease up on our feelings that our house is not worthy, then we can spend more time with friends.

      Thanks for coming today! Great blog hop too!
      Ceil

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  20. Hi Ceil,
    I all ready feel comfortable and ready to have a cup of ceffee with you – either at your or my place :) I’m the same … It’s cozy to be in a house where you see some marks of life around you :)
    Such a cheerful and lovely way of Words you have!
    Blessings to your week,
    Nina

    Reply ↓

    • HI Nina! Now you KNOW I want to get back to Copenhagen and spend some time with you! I am so glad that you feel the same way I do. It is cozy! Life being lived is a wonderful thing to see.

      Always so fun to see you, my friend!
      Ceil

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    • Hi Kim! I am so happy you could relate to this post. It’s not that I’m against being clean, I’m all for it! But we can’t trade it off with friendship and making time for someone else.

      Thanks for your lovely comment today :)
      Ceil

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    • HI Rachael! I would love to come over!

      Of course your friends want to see you, you are important! More important than the vacuum, that’s for sure.

      Thanks for coming over today!
      Ceil

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    • Hi Mary! Sounds like you have your priorities right to me.

      My dining room table doesn’t look too bad to me right now, but the mail just came! LOL!

      Thank you for coming to visit today, Mary. So nice to see you :)
      Ceil

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  25. Hello Ceil, Girl with all your blogging, I bet you have not gotten a thing done today! But neither did I, as I went to meet a dear friend for lunch. She is moving away soon and I will miss here so much! And I do love a tidy home but the peace and warmth of God is in this home. Because it all belongs to HIM! I always have books and magazines in stacks on tables everywhere. I keep things simple yet elegant in a way without a lot of clutter.
    So now I think you can find my house :)
    Blessings, Roxy

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    • Hi Roxy! Always good to see you here!

      What a fun day for you! But I am so sorry that you will be missing a good friend, they are so precious. I hope you both will keep up with each other for years to come.
      Your house sounds lovely; I have seen some pictures of it on your blog, so I know what you mean by ‘simple, yet elegant’!

      Peace,
      Ceil

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    • Hi Dina! Happy Birthday to you! (Good thing you can’t hear me singing!)

      I am so happy that we know each other, what a fun thing to just trip over to your blog one day. Who knew? You are a girlfriend for sure :)

      Eat some cake for me, ok?

      Happy Day!
      Ceil

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    • Hi Amy! How nice of you to come over and make a comment too.

      I am so happy that this post was something you needed to hear today. Isn’t it wonderful when God supplies what we need? He is an awesome God.

      Happy Wednesday!
      Ceil

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  30. Ceil,
    This post was so sweet and thoughtful! Come on over to my house and we will sit and visit while my kids play around us at our feet and of course, they will ask all sorts of questions and might ask you to share something from your favorite book of the Bible or some other tidbit!

    I will scoot the basket of blocks out of the way while I take baby into my bedroom for a change and walk right in front of you with the dirty diaper to throw away in the kitchen garbage can. And then, I will feel comfortable enough to open the laundry room door where there will be at least a load of clothes waiting to be washed (I do have 7 children out of 11 left at home after all!) to put away the dirty dress I just changed off the toddler.

    Oh….oh…and then, you and I will talk some more and drink some more coffee while I scoot the toys and books off the kitchen table so we can have a slice of cake!

    Yes, come on over anytime!

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    • Hi Natural! Your house sounds like a fun, loud, loving place! I was one of eight, and I thought that was a lot :)

      You know, you had me at cake! LOL! I’m on my way over to visit you. I think we’ll be good friends!
      Ceil

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